Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
