When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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