i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
