im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
