At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize