Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
