3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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