i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Floor bacon is actually really good
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
