just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
