I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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