I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
