you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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