Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
