I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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