Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
