Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
