it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
