btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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