her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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