i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
