He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
