Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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