Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
