Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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