Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
