just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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