Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
