and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
