don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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