too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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