I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
