I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
