We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
