You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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