ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
