I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
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