it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Buhtt sex?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
