Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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