i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
