I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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