Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's the barista slut.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize