I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
