Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
