its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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