Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
