If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
