he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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