Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
