This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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