i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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