ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
