Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark