Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize