i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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