she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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