I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
