Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
