I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
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