So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
