he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
