Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize