cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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