My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
