Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death