I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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