I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
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