I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
